Share your traditions. Tell them about what your family does for the holidays (or what traditions you loved as a kid). Include them in your traditions.
Ask them about their traditions. Is there a food they liked? Or things they did? And try to figure out what Santa does at their house.
Make new traditions. See if there is anything they have always wanted to do.
Decorate your house. Not only should you decorate your house but you should have them help. Maybe they can make something or they can help you pick something out. This year all my decorations were things the boys could play with.
Buy them special trinkets. At my house we all have stockings with our names on it so I make sure foster children have them as well. I also buy them special ornaments as well as a family ornament with all our names and years.
Take lots of pictures. These will help you remember your holiday together. But they are also a special memory for your children.
Read books. Books are magically. They make children excited and they can teach them what to expect.
Make art work. I love holiday art work. You can make things to decorate your house with and keepsakes for both of you.
Keep it small. Last year I broke my mom’s heart into a million pieces when I told her I wouldn’t be going to their house for Christmas morning because I knew Diva would be overwhelmed and I wanted to limit her time in a crowded space. It ended up working out really well but it was a hard thing for my mom to accept.
Try not to have too high of expectations. If the child is older the holidays could be a huge trigger for them. Try to play it by ear andhave them tell you what they are comfortable with.